Monday, June 20, 2005

 

Was die Fliegen auf den Dreck lockt
oder wie man einen Vorlesungssaal möglichst ineffizient füllt

Manch einer mag sich schon gefragt haben was es ist, das die Fliegen auf den Dreck lockt und nach langem Überlegen wahrscheinlich zum Schluss gekommen sein, dass es etwas mit dem Überlebenstrieb zu tun haben mag und dass die Fliegen den Dreck unglaublich gern haben müssen.

Genau derselbe Trieb scheint die Studenten in den Vorlesungssäälen dazu zu treiben als allererstes die äussersten Plätze zu belegen und dann mit Unzufriedenheit und leicht genervter Miene aufzustehen, wenn die Studenten, die keinen der begehrten äussersten Plätze erwischt haben, sie bitten, sie vorbeizulassen. Dieses Spiel wiederholt sich dann beliebig oft, je nach Anzahl Studenten und Grössen der Bankreihen, so dass man im Allgemeinen amüsiert* zuschauen kann, wie sich der Saal von aussen nach innen so allmählich füllt**.

An dieser Stelle möchte ich das Gegenargument und die Verteidigung, dass es die aussen sitzenden Studenten doch sicherlich sehr eilig haben nach der Vorlesung rauszuspringen um den Zug oder ähnliches zu erwischen statistisch dementieren, denn oft erhebt sich der innere Teil der Studenten eher und wartet dann mit einer ordentlichen Portion Geduld in einer Schlange, bis die Dame (es könnte auch ein Herr sein) ganz aussen ihre sieben Sachen und das Handy eingepackt hat.

Ha! da fällt mir doch noch ein Argument ein um aussen zu sitzen: Die optimale Fluchtposition bei Feuer und sonstigen Katastrophen. Wobei mir doch einige Zeitungsartikel vor dem inneren Auge erscheinen, wonach es bei panikartigen Fluchtversuchen*** immer wieder zu Toten durch Niedertrampeln kommt. Wenn wir nun alle Aussagen vereinen, könnte man auf den Gedanken kommen, dass es wahrscheinlich nicht die Leute in der Mitte sind, die zu Tode getrampelt werden.

*) ausser man ist selbst einer der beteiligten Parteien
**) ev. könnte der ASVZ einen separaten Kurs für die Oberschenkelmuskulatur anbieten, damit das Aufstehen und sich wieder Setzen mit der Zeit leichter fällt und man nicht mehr so böse angeschaut, sondern belächelt wird, wenn man vorbei möchte.
***) man möge dem negativen Touch in diesem Wort Rechnung tragen


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